Sunday, October 14, 2007

"When Autumn comes...

"... it doesn't ask, it just walks in where it left you last... You never know when it starts, until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart..."-- John Mayer

Friday, October 12, 2007

Seasons Change.

Fall is my most favorite season of the year. So many people who live around here think it's bad, because it just means that winter isn't too far around the corner. I think that's OK... I love Thanksgiving and Christmas both... they're great reasons to be thankful for what you have and appreciate your family and friends. But back to fall, I think it's one of the most expressive seasons. The colors change so drastically in nature, the air turns with a chill so quickly, and (I don't have scientific proof of this) it seems that it's one of the fastest seasons here in Wisconsin so you have to appreciate it while it's here. That chilly feeling making you want to feel cozy everywhere, the vibrant colors that follow you around the city, and the general feeling that most of the year has already come and gone always leaves me in a very nostalgic mood.

I've realized that as the seasons changed this year, a lot of things have changed in my own life. The year started with major changes at work, with the only real "boss" I've ever known leaving... and then some serious turnover at work. It left everything so uncertain... how was this year going to go? Could I make it without knowing someone would be there to believe in me and push me to be better? I discovered quickly that my life would change at work alone... and then trickle down to effect everything else. I don't need to re-hash all the details... but I guess in the end I'm somewhat proud of how it all went. The first time I faced big changes and challeneges at work... I feel into a feeling that I couldn't classify... but I only know it as sad and not fully functional. I wanted so badly to not feel that way this time... and while I can't say that I was completely successful, I think I did some of the best work I've done so far in my career this year... and managed to somehow keep things together at home. (Brad is one of the most patient men you will ever meet and I can't say how much I am blessed to be with him.) There's probably times (and may still be times) when I needed to reach out for more help than I was getting. I dealt with some pretty heavy stuff this summer, and I guess I always felt like someone else had it worse than I did so I should just deal with it. I've decided that's not a motto to live your life by.

Anyway, I can talk about this all in past tense because seasons have now changed for me once again. I was promoted, I guess you could say, at work to be the station's new Political Reporter. It's something I've been interested in and wanted to do for a long time, and I worked really hard this year to try to get it once the position was vacated by the man who is now my boss. Its going to mean a huge learning curve of people to meet, information to know, and frankly, guts and gravitas to grow. I'm excited and sort of terrified at the same time, but its also nice to have a major challenge in front of me to put me back on an extremely driven track. I want to be the kind of reporter that can get above the fray and tell you what's really going on in the state house and why you should care. I don't want to get bogged down by the messiness of it all, but want to expose what's true, real, and meaningful. I know I'll hit my stride somewhere along the way, but its going to take some real work to get there. Thankfully, the new position also means a new schedule and more time at home with Brad and family and friends, which I know now I'm going to need. Its amazing how long you can want and work for something, only to find out that's its a lot more on your plate than you ever thought it would be. Here's to growing some thick skin.

Anyway, I'm trying to scrap my stress away... and hopefully we're going to do some fun fall stuff this weekend. Hope you can pick some apples and pumpkins and enjoy the fleeting season change as it happens.